― President Jimmy Carter ¹
We recently took our daughters and nieces to a dude ranch in Arizona. In deciding to move forward with the vacation, my husband and I agreed that we were taking a risk, and that we were going to be stepping completely outside of our comfort zones in going on this adventure. After all, none of us had been to a dude ranch before and had been wholly born, raised, and socialized in urban environments. We knew not what we would encounter. I certainly had some reservations about how we might be received, but this looked like it could be a tremendous experience for the girls. Ultimately, we decided not to self-select out because of fear.
Upon our arrival at the ranch, we found the staff to be warm and welcoming. In taking in our surroundings, we noticed that we were the only people of color on the ranch and were able to surmise that the majority of guests likely lived a very different existence than we did. From ethnic background, to politics, to regional representation, we were very different from everyone else that was present. All of that notwithstanding, a beautiful thing happened during our time at the dude ranch: we connected with our fellow humans, despite our differences. One of my nieces developed an unlikely friendship with an older former military octogenarian from North Carolina. Another one of my nieces developed a friendship with a girl much younger than she from Lansing, Michigan. One of my daughters met a young lady who shared her unusual name, who had a completely different background and upbringing than she did. And yet another one of my daughters learned how to wrangle a miniature horse from a little girl from Ohio.
Whatever concerns we had about how our family would be received were completely assuaged early on. We not only benefited from the connections we made with people who were very different from us, but we know that we edified others through our presence at the ranch.
It is natural for humans to want to stay in protective cocoons, and to not venture too far outside our comfort zones into terrain that might seem unfamiliar. After all, when we go into uncharted territory, we open ourselves up to the unknown. As parents, we want to protect our children and avoid exposing them to experiences that might be harmful to them. But when we live in a way that prioritizes risk aversion over all else, we can miss out on living. Our self-insulation can work so well that we can become detached from other humans and forgo experiences that diverse human interaction can bring.
At this moment in our nation's history, where we find ourselves at the height of division and separation, I implore us all to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones and extend a hand across the aisle. We are all more similar than we know. And if we sit in judgment of one another and prevent ourselves from loving each other, we will miss prime opportunities for connection and growth.
¹ President Jimmy Carter, a Caucasian Southerner with a military background, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002 for his work to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts and to advance democracy and human rights of all people. His life and his legacy are prime examples of the importance of cross-ethnic connection and allyship.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― Kelly Lee Phipps
This month, apropos of Women’s History Month, our World Changer of the Month, Dr. Alexa Canday, is a woman who constantly broke down barriers that were put in place by others, as well as her own internal mental barriers. Despite becoming the first African American and first female pediatric neurosurgeon in the United States, Dr. Canady has openly acknowledged her struggles with imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is a real phenomenon that disproportionately plagues women and people of color. And for those of us who have dealt with it, its most challenging aspect is that it tends to resurface repeatedly over the course of our lives. Each time we face a new challenge professionally, academically or otherwise, we are at risk of falling back into the familiar cycle of self-doubt.
As a person who has personally struggled with imposter syndrome, I can speak from experience. I know the truth about myself: I am intelligent, capable, talented, and can accomplish any task set before me. Whatever it is, I can and will get it done. However, I believe what makes imposter syndrome the mental behemoth that it is, is that despite knowing the truth about ourselves, we’re constantly plagued by negative external messaging and signaling from others. As we progress through life, the “others'' can take different forms. Sometimes the others are our peers. Sometimes they are our teachers and instructors. Other times, our supervisors. Sometimes the “others'' are people who call themselves our friends. These others, whether motivated by a misplaced superiority complex, their own insecurity and self-doubt, or just plain animus, plant seeds of negativity in an effort to make us doubt ourselves and impose limits on what we can achieve. They fan the flames of self-doubt that can turn into a raging fire that will consume our joy, self-confidence and ambition; and ultimately, cause us to self-select out of opportunities.
The factors that exist that create fertile ground for the lies that feed imposter syndrome to grow are mental. The imposter syndrome battle is fought wholly in our mind. We can win the battle by refusing to internalize the lies and by choosing to believe the truth about ourselves.
How do we keep the truth about who we are at the forefront of our minds?
First, we must remind ourselves of the facts about who we are, our qualifications and what we have accomplished. We are not where we are today by some fluke or stroke of luck. We worked hard, likely harder than most, to accomplish our goals.
Next, we must be intentional about the company we keep. We must guard our hearts and our minds, and one of the best ways to do so is by truly vetting our friends and keeping around us a genuinely supportive group of trusted advisers who encourage us, exhort us and are honest with us.
Finally, we must ultimately choose who will get to decide what course our lives will take. Will we believe the lies promulgated by those who are not acting in our best interests, thereby empowering them to decide for us, or will we decide for ourselves?
I don’t know about you, but I choose the latter.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― Lauryn Hill
I remember when I first heard the song “Everything is Everything.” I was a junior in college and one of my classmates had the new Lauryn Hill album playing on her car stereo as she drove me to my dorm. I remember that even after she had pulled into a parking spot and put the car in park, I couldn’t bring myself to get out of the car until the song was over. Its genius struck me as much then as it does today. There is tremendous truth in this simple statement. Everything is literally connected to everything else. Despite living in a day and age where we find ourselves more separated and polarized than ever, with folks digging their heels in deeper and deeper as they defend their various ideological stances, it’s more imperative than ever to remember that we are all connected. As we celebrate Black History Month, it is important to recognize that cultural pride should not occur in a vacuum; nor does it need to take place to the exclusion of inclusivity. This is true for celebrations of pride for all groups. We can celebrate our achievements in a way that both pays homage to the hard-fought accomplishments of our people, while concurrently acknowledging that we need and rely upon each other as fellow citizens of humanity, regardless of our ethnicity, creed, or background. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the most prolific leaders of our time, who is widely celebrated during Black History Month, understood this truth all too well. Though often lauded for the work he did to advance the cause of equal rights for African Americans, Dr. King was a staunch advocate for equal access and justice for all people. He believed in the interconnectedness of humanity and that none of us are free until all of us are free.He once shared that he told his children, “I don’t ever want you to forget that there are millions of God’s children who will not and cannot get a good education, and I don’t want you feeling that you are better than they are. For you will never be what you ought to be until they are what they ought to be.” As Dr. King understood, what happens to the least of us, impacts all of us. We must remember the context of humanity in which we exist. We do not thrive in a vacuum. Everything truly is everything. All of our actions impact the actions and experiences of other people in an often a cyclical and unintentionally symbiotic manner. Everyone truly is connected to everyone else. The way we move, live, and breathe in the world impacts
our fellow humans, for better or for worse. We rely on each other. We need each other. And we should care about each other.
