- Kimberley Guillemet
― Andy Andrews
The Navy Seals are known for repeating the following phrase during training, “Embrace the suck.” While I will acknowledge that this motto isn’t exactly eloquent, the attitude behind it fosters the right type of perseverance.
It’s human nature to want things to be comfortable, easy, and as simple as possible. But we know that all things that come simply and easily to us aren’t always best for us, especially in the long term. Often our seasons of hardship are those within which we experience the most growth.
I often find myself encouraging my daughters as they navigate various challenges. Understandably, they would like for their respective trials to come to a quick and deliberate end, forthwith. I always hear them out when they share their frustrations, but I also often push back and share that in my own experience, my most challenging seasons have fostered and developed personal internal growth, the likes of which I would not have experienced outside of those tough circumstances.
Recently, I made it personal for my eldest daughter, reminding her of her first spelling test.
This daughter has always loved reading and has had strong language and verbal expression skills from a very young age, so when she started pre-kindergarten, we expected that this trend would continue. Well, it did, until her first hurdle. On the Monday of the second week of school, her teacher distributed a list of spelling words and told the class that they would be taking a spelling test at the end of the week.
When my daughter came home from school that day and pulled out her homework folder, she was in a full panic. She was not so concerned that she would not remember how to spell the words, but more so that she would only have a certain amount of time in which to write the words down legibly and place each letter properly within the wide-lined primary school paper.
She was stressed, and so was I. Not because I didn’t think she could do it, but because I knew this was a new challenge for her. She had never been asked to do this before and I did not want the experience to take a negative toll on her self-confidence. But despite my instinct to protect her from discomfort, I told her, “You can do this. You are smart. You are an excellent reader. You can do anything you set your mind to.” She wasn’t convinced. She begged me not to make her take the test. Much to her chagrin, her pleas fell on deaf ears.
Over the course of the week leading up to the test, my daughter dutifully practiced writing her spelling words every night, even as tears streamed down her face and dripped onto her paper. She tightly gripped the pencil with her small fingers, determined to form each letter properly, engraving into the wooden table with each linear and circular stroke she applied to the paper.
She took the test at the end of the week. She got all the words right, but she did get a reminder from her teacher to work on her penmanship.
With each passing week, she got stronger and stronger and faster and faster, and eventually got to the point where the words came so easily that she had to be given a more challenging vocabulary list.
After I finished recounting the story, I reminded my daughter that if we had allowed her to skip her first spelling test because she thought it was too hard and because she was afraid, she would have never known that she could be successful at it as she would have never tried. And she would have never known how many other more complex tasks she would be able to accomplish in the future because she would have quit before she took the first test.
Reader, whatever trial you are facing, whether it is personal, professional or academic, view it as an opportunity to develop perseverance and grit. It just might be preparing you for a future test.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― Nannie Helen Burroughs
I often hear well-meaning people intimating that people of certain socioeconomic positions, ethnic/racial groups and/or those who have not attained certain levels of education should not be expected to persevere, achieve or overcome. The words may not be spelled out that plainly, but that is the crux of the sentiment.
I think people believe that we do others a favor when we lower society’s expectations for them as a whole. We do not.
Nannie Helen Burroughs knew that. At a time when African Americans were not permitted to freely and openly access education in this country, Ms. Burroughs not only dedicated her life to educating African Americans, she specifically focused on educating African-American women--perhaps the most marginalized, disenfranchised and underserved group in the country at the time.
However, Ms. Burroughs didn’t educate these women from a place of sympathy, pity or lowered expectations. She was quite clear in her expectation that all of her students would achieve. The school’s motto read: “Work. Support thyself. To thine own powers appeal.” Ms. Burroughs believed that her students did not need to wait to be saved or to be helped by those better situated. She taught them that they were organically and naturally capable.
We can learn a lot from Ms. Nannie Burroughs. Women, particularly women of color, still face hurdles in professional and educational environments that others do not. However, we know that we cannot be defined by what others think about us. We cannot be limited by what they say, do, or believe. We should not look for or expect external validation. Nannie Burroughs never got mainstream validation and yet she persevered. And had she not, generations of Black women would not have received an education.
Notwithstanding what anyone thinks about who you are, or what you can achieve, know that you descend from greatness. You can do anything you put your mind to. You do not need the help or validation of others.
Power is in your DNA.
- Kimberley Guillemet
― Kimberley Baker Guillemet
I’ve been going through an analysis lately of determining my point of maximum efficiency and productivity. I believe that a person should go hard, that they should run with perseverance the race set before them. If we’ve been assigned a task, we should see it through to completion and we should do it exceedingly well. On the other hand, when we go too hard, there is indeed a point of diminishing returns. It is imperative to find the appropriate balance.
Continuing with the analogy of a race, let’s envision ourselves as runners. Track and Field athletes are quite intentional about their training regimen, as well as the timing and the level of effort they expend at various points during any given race. Depending on the type of race, there are points during the race when they give maximum effort and points at which they do not. Both the periods of maximum effort and reduced effort are key to optimal performance during the race; and after the race is over, adequate rest and recovery are imperative to ensure overall health.
How do we apply this to our lives? How do we find that balance? How do we find the sweet spot that produces maximum efficiency? On one hand, it’s important to fully exert ourselves at times--to do things with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength, but on the other, it’s important to rest and recover. Here I must acknowledge that I have not been very successful at engaging in rest and recovery. It has been a lifelong challenge for me, partially because I legitimately have difficulty finding time to rest and partially because I have difficulty giving myself permission to rest.
I tell myself that I will try to rest, but when I am short on time and I start prioritizing, time for rest is the first to get cut. This is the worst thing to do because I find myself exhausted and frustrated and by no means ready to start the next cycle of work all over again.
What it has taken me a long time to learn is this: Rest must be non-negotiable.
In that vein, I have decided that I will take a cue from one of my daughters’ favorite characters, Yoda: “Do or do not. There is no try.” My goal is no longer to try to rest, it is to rest. Full stop.
To you, dear readers, I challenge you with the same instruction: find rest.